A Song for Closing

Sometimes, one must change up the routine to get the attention of perfectly fine, but busy people when the time comes to empty the building. One method for this is my "Poorman's Al Yankovik" Fair Use parody of some helpless, innocent song.

I submit for your consideration, "I Think We Are Closed, Now," wrenched from Tommy James and the Shondells' "I Think We're Alone Now," also covered in the 80's by Tiffany.

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That's what we say when we are closing
And don't let's delay
Let's close like we planned
And so we're checking out as fast as we can...
Giving to you a helping hand
Trying to get away into the night
And then you gather up your items and you wander to the door
And then we say, "I think we are closed, now
There doesn't seem to be anyone around.
"I think we are closed now,
The beating of our hearts is the only sound."

The song ends there, because when you're making closing motions, people really don't want a two or three minute radio ditty. About a minute is enough inflict on people without rousing their annoyance beyond having been interrupted in their task and being asked to leave in the first place.

I'm Just Saying.

I won't bother to reprint one of the latest little pop
science news stories making the meme rounds.

Let me imagine that the following is suitable for any debate using behavior of animals in nature to support any advocated human behavior in society. I'm not getting all caveman flame by any means. However, I do wonder does this mean anything that shows up in nature is appropriate for some analogous behavior in human society, or only ones that seem sensible to the people looking at it? How is that different from the majority or the most vocal doing what is right in their own eyes? If we get to claim support from this natural phenomenon, does not anyone else get to claim support from any other natural phenomena they find that support their opinion on some issue? To be entirely fair, I do think God should be credited and charged with the saves and the losses in natural disasters: I just don't think it is rhetorically useful to cherry pick part of an evidence while discounting similar evidence that doesn't fit the position. At that point, just say you're right and events in nature don't justify nor condemn anything in human society.

When metaphors don't work

A line in a song says, "Open the eyes of my heart..." Now, I've mentioned this somewhere else, but that metaphor (which I believe does work, and I'm willing to stipulate so here) made me think of one that I feel should work when you look at the comparisons involved, and yet it doesn't.
   "Sprained ankle of the heart"--certainly sprains ache and hearts ache. And the way that sprained ankles can keep paining you for months or years after the initial injury fits how an heart ache can do. So it seems to me that it should work as a metaphor, but it just doesn't. It' lacks that "Aha!" moment that the best metaphors have. Maybe, you could have a working metaphor if you just referred to "sprained my heart," but I'm still not convinced. It would have the immediate relation to "break my heart." So, like you can sprain a joint or break its bone--sprained ankle, broken ankle--you could have "sprained heart," "broken heart." I'm just not sure if that works or works enough.

Come see the Tugginc screening of The Exquisite Corpse Project!

 It's funny how one thing can lead to another. I was practicing finding, checking out and reading on line magazines from the library's Zinio service. This is work related, because I have to be able to show patrons how to do all the steps and get it downloaded to their tablet, ereader, or smartphone. And let me tell you, it's complicated to annoy even me, so you can imagine it's not  going to be, shall we say, "intuitive" for many patrons fresh on the Internet.
  Anyway, I was looking at Mental Floss, which is one of the available free to check out and keep magazines on the library's collection of Zinio magazines. While looking at the pages, one of the letters to the editor said something about pg 64 in a previous issue. Page 64 was a link, and I clicked it to see if it would take me to the past issue. No such luck. What it did do was take me to page 64 in the current issue.
  While that was not a useful link to see what the letter writer was referring to, it was a page that had a small article about The Exquisite Corpse Project, which is a movie based on a parlour game with a twist. From the article (on pg 64 of the July-August 2013 issue of Mental Floss): A segment called The Rules done by Ben Popik and his sketch comedy group might go like this--pick 3 of the worst experiences in your life, write a sketch based on them, you have 5 minutes, start NOW. The article says that the results were usually (always?) horrible, but watching the process made it great and funny.
   For The Exquisite Corpse Project, Popik asked his former comedy team to write 15 pages of script after seeing only 5 pages of the script section before the section each member was to write. According to the movie webpage, they'd only agree if he committed to making the movie if they scripted it that way. He did; they did; it's out there.

Page 64 of Mental Floss (remember when we were there?) included a link to a blog where one can download the movie (for $5.00). At the blog is a link to Tugg or something that has a make a reservation for a movie theater showing link If you're near Portland, Oregon, in time, it'd be great to go. (Plus they need 43 more reservations to actually have the screening take place there. Search for other screening appearances if PDX is too far away. But the venue is really cool!
Join me at this @Tugginc screening of The Exquisite Corpse Project!: Join me at this @Tugginc screening of The Exquisite Corpse Project!

Evidence of Yet Another Disorder--ADDD

The names have been hidden to protect the guilty.
Perhaps the corporate sponsor was 3M.

This is the cover of a Summer Reading Programs brochure which details the different programs and dates and times on a separate page for each of the library branches in the system. The cover as seen here, and the nearly alphabetized pages by library branch inside, illustrate a newly identified disorder:
Attention to Detail Deficit Disorder.

A Random post from a Transatlantic Journey

The beer was ordinary Heineken; the olives were Spanish
green. I don't know what the price was about.

Beer and I thought complimentary green Spanish olives. At a little bar behind the Teatro Romano, Cartagena, Spain. Saw no menu. Admission to Teatro Romano, €6.00; food & beverage seen here: €13.50; learning to check for costs before ordering in a foreign bar: priceless

I see travel in the future. Magic Eightball says, Signs point to yes.

I'll be riding a ship on a thirteen day journey across the Atlantic, debarking at the port 45 miles outside Rome and flying home (boy, I expect my arms to get tired then)!

Still, with the cruise market slump because of the Carnival Cruise disaster (and no doubt because of the Italian cruise capsize disaster before that) prices for last minute reservations have come down quite temptingly. At least, I thought so. Of course, in an ironic switch, cruising this year has proved to be a grasshopper market and not favoring ants' forethought and planning. Anyone buying back in, January, say instead of now or two weeks ago, would have found prices around $800 higher per person for the exact same cabin. So much for the benefits of planning ahead.

Anyway, If I think of it, if it's not too expensive (one has to pay for unreliable internet access on board ship), I'll try to post a picture or two and make some envy-provoking comment. I'll find something more interesting than grey-green water out to the horizon.

It's a little ironic that I should pay big money for 13 days at sea when the Navy used to send me on 10-23 day cruises and pay me for it. But I won't have anything to do on the thirteen days besides amuse myself and maybe try a little Karaoke. Unlike in the Navy where there were external demands placed on my time.

Having said that, both sets of sea journey managers want(ed) me to dress up for certain occasions.