A Song for Closing

Sometimes, one must change up the routine to get the attention of perfectly fine, but busy people when the time comes to empty the building. One method for this is my "Poorman's Al Yankovik" Fair Use parody of some helpless, innocent song.

I submit for your consideration, "I Think We Are Closed, Now," wrenched from Tommy James and the Shondells' "I Think We're Alone Now," also covered in the 80's by Tiffany.

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That's what we say when we are closing
And don't let's delay
Let's close like we planned
And so we're checking out as fast as we can...
Giving to you a helping hand
Trying to get away into the night
And then you gather up your items and you wander to the door
And then we say, "I think we are closed, now
There doesn't seem to be anyone around.
"I think we are closed now,
The beating of our hearts is the only sound."

The song ends there, because when you're making closing motions, people really don't want a two or three minute radio ditty. About a minute is enough inflict on people without rousing their annoyance beyond having been interrupted in their task and being asked to leave in the first place.

Snack and writing

I was thinking of a Beatles song, "I've got a feeling." I guess I was hungry, because I started thinking of a parody involving a large amount of pizza.


I need a pizza, a pizza deep and wide
Oh yeah, Oh yeah
I need a pizza, a pizza I can’t hide
Oh no. no. Oh no! oh No.
Yeah! Yeah! I need a pizza. Yeah!

Oh please believe me, pineapple and the ham
Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
And if you leave me, no anchovy again
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
Yeah Yeah I need a pizza, yeah.
I need a pizza.

All these years I’ve been wandering ‘round,
Wondering how come nobody told me
Anchovy, ham and garlic is a bit of
an over do

I need a pizza, with sauce of tomatoes
Oh Yeah, Oh yeah.
I need a pizza with prawns and cilantro
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh yeah.
Yeah! Yeah! I need a pizza. Yeah!

Ev’rybody had a bread stick
Ev’vrybody had a red wine
Ev’vrybody had a salad
Ev’vrybody had the Key Lime
Oh yeah, Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Ev’rybody had a good beer
Ev’rybody let their belt out
Ev’rybody wiped their spill up
Ev’rybody put their tips down
Oh yeah. Yeah Wooooo Hooooo


It's not as funny nor quite as inventive as a Weird Al Yankovic composition, but it pretty much fits the syllable count and stress. :-)

Modest Mouse

It is a disappointment to have bad taste sometimes.

I just watched Modest Mouse on PBS's Austin City Limits. I'm not a regular viewer, but I was surfing the channels to see what might catch my eye or ear and I came on this in the middle of a song. It was like a train wreck and I couldn't look away.

I know a number of people like the group, and I tried to see why. I think the rhythm & percussion are catchy. The pump organ one of them played added an interesting element to the total sound. Last night I watched the DVD of PBS's American Experience episode about the Original Carter Family, and I think the short phrases and repeated words of the Modest Mouse songs are distantly related to Old Timey folk lyrics.

In that sense, Modest Mouse is like extremely painful modern classical music: it's more intellectual/technical than pleasant. One is more likely to "understand" it or understand what they are doing than to enjoy it.

That's what I mean about bad taste: after I thought about it, I could see a number of things Modest Mouse was doing, and I could see the folk music connection with their lyrics, but even though I know some people enjoy MM, I just can't make that next step myself.

On the other hand, Guided By Voices, the second band in the Austin City Limits show moved me to change the channel.