Saturday, August 31, 2013

A Song for Closing

Sometimes, one must change up the routine to get the attention of perfectly fine, but busy people when the time comes to empty the building. One method for this is my "Poorman's Al Yankovik" Fair Use parody of some helpless, innocent song.

I submit for your consideration, "I Think We Are Closed, Now," wrenched from Tommy James and the Shondells' "I Think We're Alone Now," also covered in the 80's by Tiffany.

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That's what we say when we are closing
And don't let's delay
Let's close like we planned
And so we're checking out as fast as we can...
Giving to you a helping hand
Trying to get away into the night
And then you gather up your items and you wander to the door
And then we say, "I think we are closed, now
There doesn't seem to be anyone around.
"I think we are closed now,
The beating of our hearts is the only sound."

The song ends there, because when you're making closing motions, people really don't want a two or three minute radio ditty. About a minute is enough inflict on people without rousing their annoyance beyond having been interrupted in their task and being asked to leave in the first place.

1 comment:

kcself said...

Love it!!! That is definitely down our alley! We want to see this on youtube with you singing and dancing to it--it will be a hit! We do think that it should get progressively more aggressive, though--like, "It's clear we are closed now--just like it has been for the last two minutes." And finally, "Get out of this place now--go and have a life just like I am doing!!" ;-) I could be meaner but I'll stop there ....